Archive for Inspiring Yourself

Last Weekend I was Behind Bars…

Yes it’s true, last weekend I was in prison, but I went there voluntarily! One of my goals for this year was to become a volunteer. I had no idea where this goal would take me and certainly I had no idea that it would land me in a prison, but I am not a person to shrink away from a challenge and I also believe that everything happens for a reason so I took a leap into the unknown! And I am so glad I did.

Not knowing what to expect I simply had it in my head that I would help in some way, but what actually happened took me a little by surprise. I learned a lot, I cried with these people, I re-enforced my ability to be non-judgemental and most importantly I now truly understand the meaning of when you let your guard down and allow people to see the real you that they will return the favour.

The time I spent with these people also re-enforced for me that EVERYBODY has the power within them to turn their lives around, when they make the decision to do so – non-dependant of the circumstances they are in.

I learned how important it is just to sit and listen. Sometimes people are not looking for anything other than a listening ear. They just want to be heard, not judged, not have advice thrown at them, just simply have someone to listen to them.

We all have such busy lives at the moment that sometimes we fail to listen to what other people have to say. One of my favourite quotes is, “Are you listening or are you waiting to talk?” I believe Oprah Winfrey said this, and last weekend I got the chance to practice my listening skill more than I ever have before and it felt GREAT. People can work through their own thoughts and problems sometimes simply by expressing them, and all it takes is a listening ear. When is the last time you did that for someone? Listen to the whole entire story, maybe there is more to it that you originally thought.

I learned that behind every action there is a reason. We all have things done to us that we don’t like. We all have people that annoy us or that do things that we don’t understand, but when is the last time we sat down with the person in question and talked to them in order to figure out why?

I learned that unexpected help is often the most appreciated. Unexpected help gives people hope, helps them to believe in themselves a little more, and gives them support (maybe support they never knew they had access to). Support can come in so many different formats – advice, listening, resources, people or simply a hug to know you are appreciated, wanted, loved or listened to. We don’t always take the time to notice the people who have the invisible outreached hand or hear the silent cry.

We all have the ability to help in some shape or form. It can start with the question “What can I do to help you?”. So simple, yet sometimes can be life-changing.

I know that my own life has changed as a result of meeting these people. They helped me to develop as a coach, as a person, as a listener. They helped me to see that that everyone has a past – secrets, regrets, things they would like to change, that everyone has challenges BUT everyone can change their lives, everyone has the ability to become a different person, and most importantly that everyone has resources available to them right now –TODAY! They may be internal or external resources – WHO KNOWS?, But they are there. The question is do we use them? Do we stand up and ask for help and accept it when it is given? And do we act on this help?

In the majority of cases, the answer to these questions is NO.

I learned that this is a mistake. There is always a resource available to us. We have the ability to choose the type of person we are, the characteristics we are known for, the results we generate and leave behind. We are all great people deep down capable of giving and receiving great love. We all have the ability to believe in ourselves, recognise our positive internal traits and qualities.

We all have the ability to help others which in turn will help us to help ourselves, to grow as a person and live a better life.

To your continued success,

Breda – helping you take your brain pain away.
p.s. I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments or questions.
Simply submit into the comment box below!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR PUBLICATION OR WEB SITE? You are welcome to use this article anytime, just be sure to republish it intact and include the following author/copyright information and links:

© Copyright Breda Stackpool, 2010 – Breda Stackpool, founder of Perfect Plans For Life, believes everyone can have the Business and/or Lifestyle they want through effective planning, time management and follow through. She publishes her newsletters and articles to inspire people to make small changes in their life so they can dramatically change their results. This free information is available in her newsletters and E-book/10 week coaching course “Becoming Unstuck”.

 
 

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What’s the best advice you got when starting out?

This year one of my goals is to help, support, train and coach as many start-up and small business owners as possible.

I am passionate about working with startups & small business owners as I believe these people;

1. Require extra support, someone to share the stress with and gain new perspectives from.

And,

2. Are more likely to help grow the local economy because as they grow they will also in turn support other small businesses.

I want to gather the advice that  helped you move forward when you were facing some tough challenges. Maybe when you were starting out, hit a lull in your business or when starting off in you career?

Whatever the advice was please share it, in the hope that it will help someone else at a time when they need a great piece of advice!

So if you are a person who has come through some tough challenges, I’d like to invite you to share the best advice you received to help you through – you can even recognise the person who gave it to you, and what happened as a result! Please complete the form below and I will collate the entries into a document to be shared.

Your contribution will be recognised in the document and when it is ready I will send you the document via email.

Please do pass this on..
 share this on Facebook, LinkedIn or if on Twitter, please use #PPFLchat

To your continued success,

Breda – helping you plan today for a brilliant tomorrow.
p.s. I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments or questions.
Simply submit into the comment box below and I’ll respond ASAP!

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Clutter = Chaos and Confusion

When I was in college my room-mates used to call me “Mammy”, and no it wasn’t because I was constantly trying to tell them what to do, it was because I always kept the place in order! And now whenever my group of friends want to get something organised they always say, let’s ask Breda to do it!

Have you ever heard the saying – “if you want to get something done, ask a busy person to do it!

People have often said to me – “You always seem to fit so much into your life”, and today I am going to tell you the secret why!

Planning and Organisation is my “thing”!! And I pride myself on it. Now, there have been times in my life when I was not so organised and as a result I found that I became confused, noting seemed to get done when I needed it to be, and eventually everything became chaotic and very hard to control.

So what’s my planning secret – Clutter control!
Yep, as simple as that.

Here are my thoughts on the types of clutter you could have in your life:

  • Environment Clutter: Look around you – what does your environment look like? Your desk, your office, your home? When your environment is cluttered, it may cause some of the results that you produce to be inconsistent. This could be due to the fact that you are constantly chasing your tail and due to this your plans run off track and in some cases out of control.
  • Head Clutter: I’m referring to the thoughts you think and what you tell yourself on a daily basis. Are these negative or positive thoughts? Do you believe you can do anything you set your mind to and get to work on producing the result, or do you sometimes give up before you even begin?

So do you have clutter in your life? If so, is it time to de-clutter?

I believe the three most important areas’ you need to keep clutter free are:

  1. Your office: It is important to keep this clutter free in order for you to get all your tasks completed on a daily and weekly basis. If you are constantly looking at mess and disorganisation then it can become very hard to keep your plan on track and your day under control.
  2. Your bedroom: What you need at the end of the day is a space to relax and unwind after a long hard day, so you can look forward to a great night’s sleep. And when you wake up in the morning it’s great to be in an environment that you can think clearly in before you start into your day.
  3. Your Head: This is of utmost importance. If you can’t turn off all the negative talk that you listen to on a daily basis then how can you achieve what you want to achieve? A great tip to help you clear some of this clutter if to write your thoughts down, then ask yourself questions like – How is this affecting me? When you write the answers, things can become very clear! And you can get so much more done when you are thinking clearly and focused.

Wishing you sometime this week to clear your clutter!

To your continued success,

Breda – helping you take your brain pain away.
p.s. I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments or questions.
Simply submit into the comment box below and I’ll respond ASAP!

p.p.s – I don’t know where I would be without the coaches and mentors who helped me to de-clutter my head! If you would like that chance,

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I survived even though I thought I wouldn’t!

Are you facing something at the moment that you feel you may never come through?

Are you feeling pain, anger, sadness?

Can you see a light at the end of the tunnel?

Can you hear the people asking you if you need some help?

Or are you so caught up in it that every day is a difficult one?

If you are, then you know what – you are not the only one!!

So many people are feeling the same way you are right now, even if you think they are not! I know from personal experience that sometimes people are very good at hiding behind an image and letting others see what they want them to see.

How do I know – because I used to be there once!

I was the person that was the fun loving, happy go lucky, lots of friends, something to do every night of the week, lots of money, happy in her job person – or was I?
One thing I do know is that, it’s very easy to show and tell people things that let them believe everything is OK, even when they are not.

Last week I was reminded that being true to your self is so important and that I have come through a lot to get to where I am now. If you received my newsletter on Thursday, you will know that a friend of mine died and we were faced with the hard task of saying our final goodbyes to him on Friday.

While listening to the story of his life, even though he was such a young age I thought to myself how everyone has a story. Everyone has challenges and problems they face on a day to day basis, but you know what we are still alive and we have the chance to stand up and fight for the life we want. We have the chance to face our problems head on and find a solution for them. We have the chance to create the results that we want people to talk about.

There are many things that I have faced in my life that I thought I would not be able to overcome, but here I am on the other side of them, stronger, wiser and most importantly with a great feeling of accomplishment.

I would like to share with you some of the lessons I have learned along the way in the hope that they may help you or someone you know:

  • When you are told you can’t do something, if you decide you will, and work hard enough then you can accomplish it.
  • Heartbreak is something that can stop you in your tracks only if you let it. I have come through 3 big heartbreaks in my time, but when I look back now I realise that if I had really taken the time to think about the type of relationship I wanted – that was not it! Don’t waste your time crying about past relationships when you can go and create the one you really want.
  • Money problems are problems that can only be tackled when you have all the information. It’s only when you know the complete situation, and educate yourself on the options available that you can plan a way through it.
  • Television will not teach you the things you need to know – books will.
  • Depression can be overcome – life is for living, not hiding from.
  • It’s only when you implement what you learn, that you can move forward from the place you are in right now.
  • There is always someone to talk to if you need a listening ear.
  • If you don’t know what you want then how will you know when you have it.
  • Grief for a loved one is something that may never fully go away. When you realise that moving on is not about forgetting them, it’s about living your life in a way they were proud to know you for, then each day becomes a little easier.
  • Problems do not go away by ignoring them.
  • You get respect by giving respect.

     

    And the most important lesson I have learned to date:

  • You cannot help anyone else if you do not look after yourself first.

I had to learn all of these lessons the hard way, and maybe you will too, but you don’t have to and know that there is light at the end of every single tunnel. Every so often, just maybe, we need to get a little messed up before we can step up. It’s all the traumas and heartache that help us to feel alive and keep pushing us forward.

To your continued success,

Breda – helping you take your brain pain away.
p.s. I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments or questions.
Simply submit into the comment box below and I’ll respond ASAP!


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WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR PUBLICATION OR WEB SITE? You are welcome to use this article anytime, just be sure to republish it intact and include the following author/copyright information and links:

© Copyright Breda Stackpool, 2011 – Breda Stackpool, founder of Perfect Plans For Life, believes everyone can have the Business and/or Lifestyle they want. She publishes her newsletters and articles to inspire people to make small changes in their life so they can dramatically change their results. This free information is available in her newsletters and E-book “Becoming Unstuck.

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The Real Meaning of a “Goal”

So it’s that time again. The start of a new year!
This is usually the time of year when everyone starts creating their goals, New Year’s Resolutions and plans for the year ahead. By now I am sure you have already created your goal list, but I heard something the other day that made me re-look at my goal list and re-define some of them.

Are you like most people?
Is your goal list a “to-do” list?
Is it filled with activities you have been meaning to get around to for a while?
Or is it filled with goals?

I was at a meeting last Monday night when the speaker, Patricia O’Sullivan, suddenly caught my attention with the statement:

“A goal defines a point where things clearly change”.

Think about that for a minute, I know I did, I actually took more than a minute to think about it!

This goal should motivate you and fire you up emotionally. You should be able to imagine the way life could be when you reach that goal.
When you have set your goals, talk to people about them. Put them out there. Get perspective and get ideas. Voice your concerns and find solutions. Find the underlying issues to your concerns and work them out.

And most importantly – When you decide you’re going to do it, then and only then does it become a goal.

This inspired me to re-look at my own goal list to ensure that each item on the list lived up to this expectation and I have been busy creating my plans to achieve these goals.

When it comes time to make your plans, don’t be afraid that you may not know all the detail, just put down what you need to do.
As I have said before it’s not about knowing how you are going to reach that goal. You don’t have to know but stay focused on the goal itself.

So why not start today!
1. Define your goals (If you haven’t done so yet, check out this
article on goal setting)
2. Ensure each one meets the criteria above.
3. Start surrounding yourself with people to lift you up and help you forward.

Don’t give up – Everything is possible!
And remember to celebrate every success along the way – let each and every achievement build your confidence.

Just think what could happen after you start, you could reach your goal and change your life. Would that really be so bad?

To your continued success,

Breda – helping you take your brain pain away.

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WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR PUBLICATION OR WEB SITE? You are welcome to use this article anytime, just be sure to republish it intact and include the following author/copyright information and links:

© Copyright Breda Stackpool, 2011 – Breda Stackpool, founder of Perfect Plans For Life, believes everyone can have the Business and/or Lifestyle they want. She publishes her newsletters and articles to inspire people to make small changes in their life so they can dramatically change their results. This free information is available in her newsletters and E-book “Becoming Unstuck”.

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Why Are We So Reluctant To Ask For Help?

In my line of work I meet people all the time who when they hear what I do, respond by saying “Oh I could really benefit from working with someone like you”.  Every time I hear this my immediate thought is “Brilliant, this person is prepared to step up, get the help they require to make the changes they need to make, and get the life they want”.

However, the majority of people fail to follow up on this statement, fail to take the next step to gain a new perspective on things and learn how they can change.

And this has led me to asking the question, ” Why are we so reluctant to ask for help?”

We all know that things are not going as well as they used to. Some people have come up against some major challenges in the last year or so. Some people have embraced these challenges and continued to move forward taking one step at a time.

But for others, these challenges have stopped them in their tracks. They now feel stuck, not knowing where to turn or what to do. They have many questions they do not have answers for.

For some this is an unfamiliar feeling that they do not know how to handle and for others this is something that has been present in their lives for some time now.

In normal day to day life if you came across a question that you do not have the answer for. What would you do – ask someone, right? And if they didn’t know then you would keep asking until you eventually get the information you need.

Why is it, when it comes to personal issues – like relationships, peace of mind, business success, life problems, health problems, financial problems, emotional problems – that we do not address these questions in the same way?

Yes, asking for help can be hard, but nothing changes if you don’t.

People often look around and try to solve their problems by copying someone else, but you cannot find yourself in someone else. Every person is different. Every person has their own challenges to overcome, but if you don’t deal with what your own core problems are first, you can often be left wondering why did it work for them and not me?

You gain strength, courage and commitment by every experience. It is up to you to learn from each one, and should you require some help to get answers to the questions you are facing then it is up to you to ask for it.

Personally, asking for help was something that took me some time to accept as the right thing to do. For years I had an image up for others to see and for me to hide behind. When I discovered this I decided to learn and grow.  It took courage for me to step out of my comfort zone and “expose” my flaws. But a funny thing happened, no-one else noticed! What they did notice was how content I became and how my image was now one of happiness. Since then I have completely changed my life and I now have things I have always said I wanted. I’m no longer asking the questions I could not find the answers for, because I got the help and support I needed to find them.

“That’s what learning is, after all, not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we’ve changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing in a curious way, is winning.” Richard Bach

Be brave, take risks, noting can substitute for experience.

I wish you courage to ask for help to find the answers to the questions you have been asking.

Breda – helping you take your brain pain away.

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The Road to Success is Often Uphill and Poorly Lit

frustrationDisaster struck!

My computer died not once but twice this month and I was faced with the possibility of losing everything I have worked towards for the past year. Customer support gave me the grim news that my hard drive had failed and a replacement was required to restore it to factory settings. The first time it happened I took it as a sign that I needed a break for a few days, the second time, panic started to set in!

Do you know how much you depend on the things around you? Are you utilising ALL your skills and resources to get you where you need to go? I used to see my computer as the life line to my business, but my view has changed now. Read the rest of this entry »

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