Posts Tagged Life

Last Weekend I was Behind Bars…

Yes it’s true, last weekend I was in prison, but I went there voluntarily! One of my goals for this year was to become a volunteer. I had no idea where this goal would take me and certainly I had no idea that it would land me in a prison, but I am not a person to shrink away from a challenge and I also believe that everything happens for a reason so I took a leap into the unknown! And I am so glad I did.

Not knowing what to expect I simply had it in my head that I would help in some way, but what actually happened took me a little by surprise. I learned a lot, I cried with these people, I re-enforced my ability to be non-judgemental and most importantly I now truly understand the meaning of when you let your guard down and allow people to see the real you that they will return the favour.

The time I spent with these people also re-enforced for me that EVERYBODY has the power within them to turn their lives around, when they make the decision to do so – non-dependant of the circumstances they are in.

I learned how important it is just to sit and listen. Sometimes people are not looking for anything other than a listening ear. They just want to be heard, not judged, not have advice thrown at them, just simply have someone to listen to them.

We all have such busy lives at the moment that sometimes we fail to listen to what other people have to say. One of my favourite quotes is, “Are you listening or are you waiting to talk?” I believe Oprah Winfrey said this, and last weekend I got the chance to practice my listening skill more than I ever have before and it felt GREAT. People can work through their own thoughts and problems sometimes simply by expressing them, and all it takes is a listening ear. When is the last time you did that for someone? Listen to the whole entire story, maybe there is more to it that you originally thought.

I learned that behind every action there is a reason. We all have things done to us that we don’t like. We all have people that annoy us or that do things that we don’t understand, but when is the last time we sat down with the person in question and talked to them in order to figure out why?

I learned that unexpected help is often the most appreciated. Unexpected help gives people hope, helps them to believe in themselves a little more, and gives them support (maybe support they never knew they had access to). Support can come in so many different formats – advice, listening, resources, people or simply a hug to know you are appreciated, wanted, loved or listened to. We don’t always take the time to notice the people who have the invisible outreached hand or hear the silent cry.

We all have the ability to help in some shape or form. It can start with the question “What can I do to help you?”. So simple, yet sometimes can be life-changing.

I know that my own life has changed as a result of meeting these people. They helped me to develop as a coach, as a person, as a listener. They helped me to see that that everyone has a past – secrets, regrets, things they would like to change, that everyone has challenges BUT everyone can change their lives, everyone has the ability to become a different person, and most importantly that everyone has resources available to them right now –TODAY! They may be internal or external resources – WHO KNOWS?, But they are there. The question is do we use them? Do we stand up and ask for help and accept it when it is given? And do we act on this help?

In the majority of cases, the answer to these questions is NO.

I learned that this is a mistake. There is always a resource available to us. We have the ability to choose the type of person we are, the characteristics we are known for, the results we generate and leave behind. We are all great people deep down capable of giving and receiving great love. We all have the ability to believe in ourselves, recognise our positive internal traits and qualities.

We all have the ability to help others which in turn will help us to help ourselves, to grow as a person and live a better life.

To your continued success,

Breda – helping you take your brain pain away.
p.s. I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments or questions.
Simply submit into the comment box below!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR PUBLICATION OR WEB SITE? You are welcome to use this article anytime, just be sure to republish it intact and include the following author/copyright information and links:

© Copyright Breda Stackpool, 2010 – Breda Stackpool, founder of Perfect Plans For Life, believes everyone can have the Business and/or Lifestyle they want through effective planning, time management and follow through. She publishes her newsletters and articles to inspire people to make small changes in their life so they can dramatically change their results. This free information is available in her newsletters and E-book/10 week coaching course “Becoming Unstuck”.

 
 

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What is NLP and how can it help me?

When people discover that I am an NLP Practitioner, I often get asked this question.

What is NLP and how can it help me?

Since I have discovered NLP and started putting it into practice I have come across so many definitions/explanations for NLP. Many of them can go into a lot of detail and become complicated leaving the reader/listener confused. This is a terrible tragedy as using NLP can have a profound and positive effect on your life so I would like to explain it today in a very simplified way.

NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming.

Now I know that sounds very scientific, but stick with me!

Very simply this breaks down as follows.

Neuro – the thoughts you think.

Linguistic – the words you use to express your thoughts or feelings.

Programming – the way you do things (or you have learned/programmed yourself to do things.)

So basically NLP helps you to focus on the three main things that ultimately define every single result that we produce in our lives. How you think, how you talk and how you act.

  1. How you think (Neuro): What do you tell yourself in your own head? Do you tell yourself that you are capable or you are not capable of whatever situation you are presented with? The thoughts YOU are producing, the things that YOU are telling yourself will have a direct affect on the way you express yourself and how you act.
  2. How you talk (Linguistic): How do you express yourself to other people? Would you consider yourself a good communicator, a good listener? I see this as being directly linked to how you think. Let me illustrate this with an example. Let’s say you are not feeling very confident in completing a task; e.g.  winning a new client or getting a new job. If you do not believe you are the person for the job, then this is what you will tell yourself (your thoughts). What do you think happens when you start speaking? The words you choose to use may express this lack of confidence and hence you may not get the result you desire.
  3. How you act (Programming): Do you do the things you want to do? Do you achieve the goals you set for yourself? Are the actions you take to the best of your ability (or do you tell yourself that they are?) Again I see this as being directly linked to how you think. You tell yourself you can’t achieve something, which results in no action being taken, or you tell yourself you can do something and you find a way to make it happen.

 

So how can NLP help you?

Basically NLP can help you to find the root causes of why you think or believe the things you do, why you express yourself they way you do and why you act the way you do. It also helps you to see why you may be getting the same results over and over again.

NLP techniques will then help you to unplug this root cause, eliminating it and hence changing the way you think, talk and act to enable you to achieve the results you want.

Personally for me NLP helped me to unlock some deep rooted emotions which back then stopped me from standing up and being the person I wanted to be. Using NLP I was able to identify the root causes and change my perceptions helping me to move on and achieve the goals and results I had been talking about for years.

I hope you now have a better understanding of NLP and how it can help you too.

Should you be interested in having an NLP consultation with me, simply book your place HERE.

To your continued success,

Breda – helping you plan today for a brilliant tomorrow.
p.s. I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments or questions.
Simply submit into the comment box below and I’ll respond ASAP!

p.p.s. For the month of May 2011 only these consultations are available at the very special offer of ONLY €33, in person or via SKYPE.

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7 Steps to Social Media Success Q&A

My “7 Steps to Social Media Success” E-Course, will take you through all the steps you need to get your social media platforms up and running.

Just in case you have questions, simply post them here (In the comment box below).. or you may find the question has already been answered for you!

You can ask me questions on

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Linkedin
  • YouTube
  • WordPress Blogging
  • Autoresponders

NOTE: Questions will be answered on Tuesday’s!!

Social Media is a tool to be used in your business.. Are you taking full advantage of it?

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What’s the best advice you got when starting out?

This year one of my goals is to help, support, train and coach as many start-up and small business owners as possible.

I am passionate about working with startups & small business owners as I believe these people;

1. Require extra support, someone to share the stress with and gain new perspectives from.

And,

2. Are more likely to help grow the local economy because as they grow they will also in turn support other small businesses.

I want to gather the advice that  helped you move forward when you were facing some tough challenges. Maybe when you were starting out, hit a lull in your business or when starting off in you career?

Whatever the advice was please share it, in the hope that it will help someone else at a time when they need a great piece of advice!

So if you are a person who has come through some tough challenges, I’d like to invite you to share the best advice you received to help you through – you can even recognise the person who gave it to you, and what happened as a result! Please complete the form below and I will collate the entries into a document to be shared.

Your contribution will be recognised in the document and when it is ready I will send you the document via email.

Please do pass this on..
 share this on Facebook, LinkedIn or if on Twitter, please use #PPFLchat

To your continued success,

Breda – helping you plan today for a brilliant tomorrow.
p.s. I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments or questions.
Simply submit into the comment box below and I’ll respond ASAP!

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The no more excuses campaign yields results!

How many things have you sitting on your to-do lists that have not been tackled yet?

Do you feel like you will never get around to them?

Do you tell yourself that you don’t have the time?

Do you think you will ever see the day when they will be completed?

Life can sometimes turn into one long list of things to do, can’t it? Everyone has a lot to do, but how come some people seem to pack so much in and create results, and some people don’t?

We are all guilty of it, putting things on the long finger that is! I know I am, but as this year I have committed to “No more excuses”, I had to come up with an alternative!!

So last week one of my top priorities was reducing my “long finger list”. Some of the listings on there were attached to excuses such as:

  • I don’t have the time
  • I don’t know how to do that
  • I don’t want to do that
  • That will take too long

I’m sure you can relate!

So I sat at my desk one morning and as planning is my thing, I created a plan to reduce this list and then implemented it.

Planning:
This turned out to be easier than I had originally told myself. I decided to give myself 1 hour a day to look at these tasks and only these tasks. I moved all of my “long finger” tasks onto a new Action list and ensured that I had no other distractions for that hour.

Focus:
During that hour I took on one task at a time and ensured it was completed in full before I moved onto the next one. It’s amazing how much you can accomplish when you put a time limit on it! And as I pleasantly discovered, a lot of tasks don’t take as long as you would think!

And the result, well that list has significantly reduced in size and some of the results I am starting to see have amazed me!!

More importantly than that, I have realized that these tasks were on this list for a reason and for a few of them I had lost sight of the reason they were there, but it was a lot easier than I thought to get back on track again.

So now it’s your turn to plan and implement and I would love to hear how you get on!

To your continued success,

Breda – helping you take your brain pain away.
p.s. I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments or questions.
Simply submit into the comment box below and I’ll respond ASAP!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR PUBLICATION OR WEB SITE? You are welcome to use this article anytime, just be sure to republish it intact and include the following author/copyright information and links:

© Copyright Breda Stackpool, 2010 – Breda Stackpool, founder of Perfect Plans For Life, believes everyone can create and implement a plan to have the Business and/or Lifestyle they want. She publishes her newsletters and articles to give you tips, advice and resources to make small changes in your life so you can dramatically change your results. This free information is available in her “Prioritise Your Success” newsletters and E-book “Becoming Unstuck.

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I survived even though I thought I wouldn’t!

Are you facing something at the moment that you feel you may never come through?

Are you feeling pain, anger, sadness?

Can you see a light at the end of the tunnel?

Can you hear the people asking you if you need some help?

Or are you so caught up in it that every day is a difficult one?

If you are, then you know what – you are not the only one!!

So many people are feeling the same way you are right now, even if you think they are not! I know from personal experience that sometimes people are very good at hiding behind an image and letting others see what they want them to see.

How do I know – because I used to be there once!

I was the person that was the fun loving, happy go lucky, lots of friends, something to do every night of the week, lots of money, happy in her job person – or was I?
One thing I do know is that, it’s very easy to show and tell people things that let them believe everything is OK, even when they are not.

Last week I was reminded that being true to your self is so important and that I have come through a lot to get to where I am now. If you received my newsletter on Thursday, you will know that a friend of mine died and we were faced with the hard task of saying our final goodbyes to him on Friday.

While listening to the story of his life, even though he was such a young age I thought to myself how everyone has a story. Everyone has challenges and problems they face on a day to day basis, but you know what we are still alive and we have the chance to stand up and fight for the life we want. We have the chance to face our problems head on and find a solution for them. We have the chance to create the results that we want people to talk about.

There are many things that I have faced in my life that I thought I would not be able to overcome, but here I am on the other side of them, stronger, wiser and most importantly with a great feeling of accomplishment.

I would like to share with you some of the lessons I have learned along the way in the hope that they may help you or someone you know:

  • When you are told you can’t do something, if you decide you will, and work hard enough then you can accomplish it.
  • Heartbreak is something that can stop you in your tracks only if you let it. I have come through 3 big heartbreaks in my time, but when I look back now I realise that if I had really taken the time to think about the type of relationship I wanted – that was not it! Don’t waste your time crying about past relationships when you can go and create the one you really want.
  • Money problems are problems that can only be tackled when you have all the information. It’s only when you know the complete situation, and educate yourself on the options available that you can plan a way through it.
  • Television will not teach you the things you need to know – books will.
  • Depression can be overcome – life is for living, not hiding from.
  • It’s only when you implement what you learn, that you can move forward from the place you are in right now.
  • There is always someone to talk to if you need a listening ear.
  • If you don’t know what you want then how will you know when you have it.
  • Grief for a loved one is something that may never fully go away. When you realise that moving on is not about forgetting them, it’s about living your life in a way they were proud to know you for, then each day becomes a little easier.
  • Problems do not go away by ignoring them.
  • You get respect by giving respect.

     

    And the most important lesson I have learned to date:

  • You cannot help anyone else if you do not look after yourself first.

I had to learn all of these lessons the hard way, and maybe you will too, but you don’t have to and know that there is light at the end of every single tunnel. Every so often, just maybe, we need to get a little messed up before we can step up. It’s all the traumas and heartache that help us to feel alive and keep pushing us forward.

To your continued success,

Breda – helping you take your brain pain away.
p.s. I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments or questions.
Simply submit into the comment box below and I’ll respond ASAP!


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WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR PUBLICATION OR WEB SITE? You are welcome to use this article anytime, just be sure to republish it intact and include the following author/copyright information and links:

© Copyright Breda Stackpool, 2011 – Breda Stackpool, founder of Perfect Plans For Life, believes everyone can have the Business and/or Lifestyle they want. She publishes her newsletters and articles to inspire people to make small changes in their life so they can dramatically change their results. This free information is available in her newsletters and E-book “Becoming Unstuck.

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The Real Meaning of a “Goal”

So it’s that time again. The start of a new year!
This is usually the time of year when everyone starts creating their goals, New Year’s Resolutions and plans for the year ahead. By now I am sure you have already created your goal list, but I heard something the other day that made me re-look at my goal list and re-define some of them.

Are you like most people?
Is your goal list a “to-do” list?
Is it filled with activities you have been meaning to get around to for a while?
Or is it filled with goals?

I was at a meeting last Monday night when the speaker, Patricia O’Sullivan, suddenly caught my attention with the statement:

“A goal defines a point where things clearly change”.

Think about that for a minute, I know I did, I actually took more than a minute to think about it!

This goal should motivate you and fire you up emotionally. You should be able to imagine the way life could be when you reach that goal.
When you have set your goals, talk to people about them. Put them out there. Get perspective and get ideas. Voice your concerns and find solutions. Find the underlying issues to your concerns and work them out.

And most importantly – When you decide you’re going to do it, then and only then does it become a goal.

This inspired me to re-look at my own goal list to ensure that each item on the list lived up to this expectation and I have been busy creating my plans to achieve these goals.

When it comes time to make your plans, don’t be afraid that you may not know all the detail, just put down what you need to do.
As I have said before it’s not about knowing how you are going to reach that goal. You don’t have to know but stay focused on the goal itself.

So why not start today!
1. Define your goals (If you haven’t done so yet, check out this
article on goal setting)
2. Ensure each one meets the criteria above.
3. Start surrounding yourself with people to lift you up and help you forward.

Don’t give up – Everything is possible!
And remember to celebrate every success along the way – let each and every achievement build your confidence.

Just think what could happen after you start, you could reach your goal and change your life. Would that really be so bad?

To your continued success,

Breda – helping you take your brain pain away.

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WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR PUBLICATION OR WEB SITE? You are welcome to use this article anytime, just be sure to republish it intact and include the following author/copyright information and links:

© Copyright Breda Stackpool, 2011 – Breda Stackpool, founder of Perfect Plans For Life, believes everyone can have the Business and/or Lifestyle they want. She publishes her newsletters and articles to inspire people to make small changes in their life so they can dramatically change their results. This free information is available in her newsletters and E-book “Becoming Unstuck”.

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