Breda Stackpool's Blog – Perfect Plans for Life

In my line of work I meet people all the time who when they hear what I do, respond by saying “Oh I could really benefit from working with someone like you”.  Every time I hear this my immediate thought is “Brilliant, this person is prepared to step up, get the help they require to make the changes they need to make, and get the life they want”.

However, the majority of people fail to follow up on this statement, fail to take the next step to gain a new perspective on things and learn how they can change.

And this has led me to asking the question, ” Why are we so reluctant to ask for help?”

We all know that things are not going as well as they used to. Some people have come up against some major challenges in the last year or so. Some people have embraced these challenges and continued to move forward taking one step at a time.

But for others, these challenges have stopped them in their tracks. They now feel stuck, not knowing where to turn or what to do. They have many questions they do not have answers for.

For some this is an unfamiliar feeling that they do not know how to handle and for others this is something that has been present in their lives for some time now.

In normal day to day life if you came across a question that you do not have the answer for. What would you do – ask someone, right? And if they didn’t know then you would keep asking until you eventually get the information you need.

Why is it, when it comes to personal issues – like relationships, peace of mind, business success, life problems, health problems, financial problems, emotional problems – that we do not address these questions in the same way?

Yes, asking for help can be hard, but nothing changes if you don’t.

People often look around and try to solve their problems by copying someone else, but you cannot find yourself in someone else. Every person is different. Every person has their own challenges to overcome, but if you don’t deal with what your own core problems are first, you can often be left wondering why did it work for them and not me?

You gain strength, courage and commitment by every experience. It is up to you to learn from each one, and should you require some help to get answers to the questions you are facing then it is up to you to ask for it.

Personally, asking for help was something that took me some time to accept as the right thing to do. For years I had an image up for others to see and for me to hide behind. When I discovered this I decided to learn and grow.  It took courage for me to step out of my comfort zone and “expose” my flaws. But a funny thing happened, no-one else noticed! What they did notice was how content I became and how my image was now one of happiness. Since then I have completely changed my life and I now have things I have always said I wanted. I’m no longer asking the questions I could not find the answers for, because I got the help and support I needed to find them.

“That’s what learning is, after all, not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we’ve changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing in a curious way, is winning.” Richard Bach

Be brave, take risks, noting can substitute for experience.

I wish you courage to ask for help to find the answers to the questions you have been asking.

Breda – helping you take your brain pain away.